Random Thoughts

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea ..." 

I have my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here. 

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 

I got a sweater for Christmas...I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. 

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. 

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. 

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me lately! 

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? 

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? 

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.