Proud To Be British Because ...

* Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 

* Only in Britain
... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 

* Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 

* Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. 

* Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. 

* Only in Britain ... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight. 

* Only in Britain
... are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink.

Not to mention ........

* 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

* 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts

* 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers

* 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree with the fairy lights plugged in

* 19 Brits have died in the past 3 years believing Christmas decorations were chocolate

* British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents

* 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet

* 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on new pullovers with a lit cigarette in their mouths

* A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E [ER] in the last 2 years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth

* 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars

* In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up into the toilet