On The Positive Side
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the
sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the
people who have to wait for them?
If Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.