Men Strike Back

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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What do you do if the dishwasher breaks down ?

Tell her to pull herself together.

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Why do children build snowmen rather than snowwomen ?
It would take too long to make the woman's head hollow.