Tony Blair is being shown around a hospital. Towards the end of his visit he is taken to a ward with a number of people with no obvious injury.
He greets the first person, and the first person replies:
"Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face,
Great chieftan o' the puddin' race!
Aboot the a' ye tak yer place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a' grace
As langs my arm."
Tony, being a wee bit confused, goes to the next person and greets them, and the second person replies:
"Some hae meat, an' canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an' we can eat,
An' sae the Lord be thankit."
Tony, being a muckle confused, goes to the next person and greets them, and the third person replies:
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous, beastie,
O, fit a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickerin' brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an chase thee,
Wi murderin' pattle!"
Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks:
"Is this a mental ward?"
"No", replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."