Ye Ken Yir Scottish When..
1 ..You kin properly pronounce - McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Menzies, an Auchtermuchty.
2. ..Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
3. ..Ye get four seasons in wan day.
4 ..Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot slaverin when yer blootert.
5. ..Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!
6. ..Ye measure distance in minutes.
7. ..Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him -in yer ain family.
8. ..Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
9. ..Ye know whit haggis is made fae and still like eating it.
10. ..Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
11 ..You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
12. ..Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
13..Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
14 ..A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.
15. ..Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
16. ..Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.
17. Finally, you are 100% Scottish if you have ever said/heard these words...
a) how's it hingin
b) your gonnae get yer heid kiktin
f) get it up ye
g) wee beasties
h) away an bile yer heid
k) baw bag
l) dubble nugget
True Story -
A wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back,with his rear end aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"
Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'