From The Big Issue
Anglian Water sent out a leaflet to Mrs
Audrey Hayley (deceased). It began, appropriately enough: "Dear Mrs
Deceased ... We aim to make life easier". Anglian Water have since
apologised for their untimely computer error, as have managers at Leicester
Royal Infirmary, who dispatched service questionnaires to 2 dead people.
Meanwhile, 2 women pensioners, aged 81 and 95, received letters from their
local JobCentre in Hamilton, Scotland, inviting them to discuss their
Margaret Malone, from County Carlow in Ireland,
was informed her name was being removed from the electoral register because
she was dead. The letter also informed Mrs. Malone - who passed away in
1996 - that should she want to dispute the decision, she should notify the
In Coruna, Spain, an impatient undertaker has
been fined $28,000 for violating ethics rules, by attempting to drum up
business from local hospital patients. Shocked witnesses claimed that he
would pull his trusty tape measure out of his jacket pocket and begin sizing
them up for a suitable coffin where they lay. Some patients were so stunned
that they nearly died then and there from the shock.
As did over 75 mourners at a funeral in Stade,
Germany. The grisly drama unfolded just as the service began, when the
46 year old heart attack victim's muscles constricted, causing him to suddenly
sit bolt upright in his coffin, and the trapped air in his stomach to be
expelled in the form of a loud, lengthy and satisfying belch.
A 25 year old in Romania collapsed and was
rushed to hospital, where he was immediately declared dead on arrival with
severe alcohol poisoning. A few hours later, an unsuspecting doctor went
down to the morgue to carry out a post-mortem examination - only to find the
corpse had done a runner. The police made a hasty bee-line for the
family home, to find his relatives merrily toasting his return. When
questioned he told officers he had no recollection of the incident
"except the mind-numbing horror of waking up among the corpses".