Dead Funny

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......
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BUMP...
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BUMP...
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BUMP...behind him.
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Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.
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BUMP...
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BUMP...
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BUMP...
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Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...
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faster...
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faster...
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BUMP...
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BUMP...
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BUMP.
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He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the  door, rushes  in, slams and locks the door behind him.
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However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
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clappity-BUMP...
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clappity-BUMP...
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clappity-BUMP...
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on the heels of the terrified man.
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Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart  is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing  gasps.
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With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
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The man screams and reaches for something, anything ... but all he can  find is a bottle of cough syrup!
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Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the coffin ...
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the coffin stops!